I was tempted to pretend like this was a “Hello World” post like I had reset the site, but fortunately the impulse passed.

Hey there. Sorry about the deafening silence from me lately. I know that there are at least two people interested in seeing my stories continue, and I apologize. I admit, I haven’t even touched a keyboard to write since I stood up from my last post, until I sat down to write this one.

If you want a reason… basically, I succumbed to my rather chronic depression. The combination of the stress from the move, the daily battle of living with an autistic child (which I will talk about at length, on another occasion) and… various other moments, which I don’t feel like explicating, had left me in a very dark place.

Fortunately, my wife is wonderful, and once she realized how bad I had gotten, she forced me to start go see a doctor. You might ask me, “Hey, if you knew you were having problems, why didn’t you go see someone yourself? Why did your long-suffering wife have to force you to?”

Well, that’s the thing. When your depressed, you don’tΒ want to get better. You don’t want to improve, or feel healthy again — you just want everything to go away and leave you alone. Possibly permanently. At least, that is my experience, and I’ve read accounts from others who have had the same experience with depression. So there you go.

So I went in to the doctor, and after consulting with him, we decided that I would go on medication for a while. I’m… not a big fan of medication, but he assured me that we could see if it was effective for a month, and that I wouldn’t need to be on it for longer than a year.

Plus, I was in counselling before, and I couldn’t say whether or not it was helping me. So there’s that.

So yeah, I’m on some anti-depressant for a while. (Don’t ask me the name, I don’t remember, and I don’t feel like checking the bottle. πŸ˜› ) It’s fairly mild, as I understand it, and I haven’t seen any of the described possible side effects, so that’s good. Mind you, I haven’t noticed my mood particularly improving either, so meh.

So yeah. I’ve just been trying to recover my motivation for all things, not just writing. Frankly, I dropped a large number of web novels I had been reading, just because I wasn’t interested in reading them anymore. And that’s too bad, because some of them were actually pretty good. Like “The Death Mage Who Doesn’t Want a Fourth Time.” Wonder how that one’s been getting on. Oh well.

So yeah. No new chapters until I get my head on straight. We’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, I’ll try to post something every once in a while, about what IΒ have been doing. Hopefully, they’ll be less of a downer than this particular post. Sorry ’bout that.

I’ve been playing the remastered version of Darksiders on my PS4 the past week or so. Maybe I’ll do a quick review of that.

Thanks for listening, and take care, everyone. πŸ™‚


A silent wind blows…

There was a vast plain, a savanna of scrub and dust — but the scrub was galaxies, and the dust, nebulae.

In the center of this black, yet elegant plain, a single black-backed jackal slept peacefully. Yet, after a moment, the jackal opened its eyes, revealing the glow of dying stars in their depths.

The jackal yawned widely, and spoke into the beautiful emptiness.

“I am given to understand that you are searching for the creator of this place. You may wonder why he seems to have gone silent.

“Well. It is unfortunate, but the creator has fallen into a depressive state once more.”

The jackal tilted his head in a canine shrug. “Creators are like that, sadly. His actual words were ‘I’m going on a journey, don’t look for me,’ but even I recognize that as a clichΓ©.

“So, those who wonder what will happen to the divergent soul named Gan Zhu, will have to wait a while longer. I will tell you this: that story is nowhere near its end, and it will continue until an end is reached. My word on it.

“There have also been signs of life, if you’ll excuse the expression, from the story of my friend Jurisanti’s favorite servant, the being currently known as ‘Zedda’. Those who seek A Living Will, might just have something to look forward to in the future.

“But, that is for the future. For now, we wait for the creator to climb back out of the darkness he has retreated into. It is not my place to ask patience of you… nevertheless, please be patient.”

The jackal yawned, then laid his head down to sleep once again. A final murmur resounded the starry plain.

“I, too, will soon return…”

Sunday. Was there something I was supposed to do today?

…Oh yeah.

Well, it’s still Sunday, I suppose. Hope everyone had a good week. I got a chapter of Anubai out, yay. Next chapter Friday. I hope. My daughter has one day of school this week, and my son has only two. So, I have to watch them all week, which isn’t exactly conducive to smooth writing. Meh.

I should start studying Korean again. I spent the last few days reading a Korean web novel called God of Cooking (which is excellent, although I’m not sure that it’s actually about cooking πŸ˜› ) and I ran out of translated chapters, making me regret that I couldn’t read the piece in it’s native Korean. Of course, by the time I got my Korean to a level where I could read it, the translator may have finished the series anyway… ^^;

…or not. The translated chapters stand at 168, but apparently there are 676 chapters total, and it’s still ongoing. Hmm, my beginning Korean textbooks are on the shelf over there… πŸ˜›

I’ve mentioned in the past that I play Go, right? The very small Go club I belong to has started up again, although we only meet up once a month. So I’ve played a few games of Go, recently, which makes me happy. Although, I’ve won them all, which makes me a little sad… losing games is good for your growth, as a Go player. And honestly, I don’t think I’ve become more skilled, especially since I haven’t been practicing, so is it just that I’ve lost fewer skills than my friends? Weird feeling. :\

Anyway, I’m tired. Have a good night, everyone, and I’ll see you later this week. πŸ˜€

Sunday Digest: The Digest-ening

Morning, y’all. No, I don’t know what the title is supposed to mean, either. Let’s move on. πŸ˜›

Sooo… I’m in my new place, now. It is nice. I will be expending actual effort to keep it nice. Go, good intentions. ^^;

As promised, I’m going to stop posting teasers of things I haven’t written yet, and move back into releasing chapters of my web novels… which I also haven’t written yet. Go figure. The next chapter will be on Friday, although whether it is the next chapter of Anubai or something else will depend on… factors. We’ll see. πŸ˜‰

OK, with that out of the way, let me tell you a quick story. See, as I was preparing for my move, I was absolutely ruthless about culling my collection of paperback novels. Sadly, this did not completely divest me of paperbacks; most of my Terry Pratchett collection is in paperback, for instance, and I’d rather lose an arm than those books. πŸ˜›

Among the few series that I decided not to part with, was theΒ Bazil Broketail series by Christopher Rowley. It’s about a war between the forces of evil, and the forces of not-quite-as-evil-as-that, and it focuses on a unit of dragons in the army of “good”. I’ve had the books since high school (the last book was released in ’99, the year before I graduated), and it’s one of best fantasy war series I’ve ever read.

So, seeing that the books now had a place of prominence on my bookshelf, I decided to start reading the books again, possibly to prove that I was right to keep them.

I stand by my decision. These books are great. Well, at least the first book is, and I expect the later books won’t disappoint meΒ too much… πŸ˜‰

Anyway. As I was reading, I thought to myself, “Huh. It would be fun to start my Let’s Read project again, reading through this book.” But then I thought, “But this series was published back in the nineties; I really wonder if it’s available anywhere.” Because while I would love to post summaries and analysis of chapters, it really would be nice if I could recommend that people read it themselves as well. Kinda the point, really. πŸ˜›

So, I checked whether the books were available on Amazon Kindle. And, as it turned out, they were.

Kind of. :\

You see, someone seems to have picked up the property, divided the books in half, and made each half available at the price of a full book. Furthermore, only five of these installments are available currently, which is about two and a half of the original books. The names have been changed, obviously since they need more of them now, and the covers have been “modernized” I guess you could say. Call it my rampant nostalgia, but I don’t like the covers. πŸ˜›

(Exception: The cover of Battle Dragons 2: The Doom, is pretty awesome. Even if it is the second half of the first book. 😦 )

Soooo… yeah. I’m not sure if I want to do a full Let’s Read of the series, with such a questionable digital version. On the other hand, the original paperbacks are available through Amazon (the actual store) for just a couple bucks apiece, setting aside the shipping charges, so it’s not like it’s completely unavailable… I don’t know. What do you guys think?

Oh, and incidentally… if I do decide to resurrect Let’s Read, it won’t impact the weekly release of web novel chapters. So don’t weigh that in your opinions. πŸ˜‰

Sunday Digest: Taking a step back

Hey, everyone! I’ve been saying this for a while now, but consider this a final heads-up: no new chapters for a while. I’m really kicking the preparation for our move into gear, and there is a lot I still need to do, so I can’t concentrate on writing right now.

In fact, even this message is something I prepped yesterday, and scheduled ahead to be posted on Sunday. Yay, scheduling! πŸ˜›

That said. I do have a few more preview/excerpt/whatever things to share with you, during this period while I’m (mostly) away from my proverbial desk. I have also scheduled these ahead of time, so they should go live on Wednesday and Friday… Oh, and since next Sunday will literally be my first day in the new place, I’m not going to be posting anything that day either. As for the following week… well, we’ll see. πŸ™‚

Oh, if you care to comment on anything, I will try to respond in a reasonable time frame. It’s not like I’m going to the moon, I’m just busy. πŸ˜›

Sunday Digest: Metal, metal, metal

Good evening, everyone! Ah, it seems like this digest post is coming out late, huh? I assure you, it isn’t because I completely forgot it was Sunday… ^^;

Well, actually, it really wasn’t. For the first time in a while, my Go club met this morning, so I got to play a couple games. Which was fun, but my skill and knowledge has definitely dropped… well, maybe I shouldn’t say that since I won both games. But it could have gone either way! πŸ˜›

…I kinda feel like talking a bit more about Go, but let’s leave that for a separate post sometime.

Anyway, the sixteenth chapter of the Anubai Hero was released on Friday, featuring a couple of guest characters from the writings of OhMarioWV! To his slight surprise. But he was kind enough to allow it, and help me adjust the speech patterns, so thanks to him once more! πŸ˜€ Continue reading

Sunday Digest: The road ahead

Hey there, everyone. As you noticed, there was no chapter this week, exactly like I said there wouldn’t be. So, that makes me trustworthy and reliable, right? Right? :\

I’m thinking that I won’t have a lot of time to write in the next few weeks, either, so I have no idea when I’ll finally have Anubai 16 ready to go. I entirely intend to get us all off that cliff I left us on, but… Well, things are happening. So we’ll all just have to wait.

In the mean time, I think I’ll dive into my extensive pile of “incomplete” writings, just to give everyone something to look at while I’m dealing with other things. Such as this week’s entry, a prologue(?) for a somewhat more typical fantasy novel than I usually write. I had some interesting moments in mind, but I didn’t really have a solid plot for it, so… it stalled in the first chapter. I do hope to return to it sometime… but that time isn’t now. πŸ˜‰

Keeping it short, I put together a (relatively) simple model this week:


An electric lead guitar. It was a little fiddly attaching the back to the front, but I got it done in the end. Single sheet, so it didn’t take too long either. I have started on the last model in my possession, which will also be the last model I put together at my current place — look forward to it! πŸ˜‰

As for prepping for moving… well, it’s questionable how well it’s going, but at least I’ve reviewed all the stuff I own by this point, and I’m considering what I can get rid of. It still seems like there is too much to do, but… have to get it done somehow. 😦

Alright, I’m supposed to be working on my closet right now, so back to work. Good luck, everyone. πŸ˜€

Sunday Digest: I’m overwhelmed by all the crap I own.

Evening, everyone. Let’s get this started before I run out of Sunday. Again.

Starting with the model front, here’s my new U-Boat:


Uh, blurrier when I see it on the screen, maybe I should get another one. Well, good enough for now. As you can see, the side is open so you can see “inside” the sub. Which is cool, but I can’t help feeling like I should be posting little notes, like “this is the bunk room” or “this is the engine room”… and since I don’t actually know what they are, it would be kind of tough for me.

But I had a lot of fun putting it together! I get a little giddy with these complicated models, although they don’t always turn out for the best. For instance… Continue reading

Sunday Digest: Pork is delicious

And easy to digest. Get it? …Never mind. I’ve got a headache today, probably because I played fast and loose with my diet this weekend. As the song says, you pay for what you get. :\

Actually, I’ve had kind of a good weekend — my anniversary was on Friday, and I went with my wife to the Minnesota State Fair, which was fun. Also, my younger sister had her wedding ceremony yesterday, and that was good too. Got to see a lot of relatives I don’t see too often anymore, now that my grandma passed on. So yeah. Shouldn’t have eaten the cake, though. Damn carbs. πŸ˜›

Anyway, got last weeks chapter of Anubai done this week instead… so do I owe you guys an extra chapter in the future? I’ll keep it in mind. No progress made anywhere else, although I’ve been tempted to start a sci fi story, just because. But, y’know, space — who wants to deal with space, y’know? πŸ™‚

On the model front, finished up the Roman Colosseum, which was pretty fun. I also put together a couple of single sheet models, which are pretty simple in comparison: The Golden Gate Bridge, and a UH-1 Huey.

Oh, and I forgot to present it last week, but that WWI airplane is a Fokker D-VII. Just so you know. πŸ˜‰

Yeah, that’s all I’ve got. I’m going to go nurse this headache a bit. Stay healthy, everyone. πŸ˜€