Hey there. Sorry about the deafening silence from me lately. I know that there are at least two people interested in seeing my stories continue, and I apologize. I admit, I haven’t even touched a keyboard to write since I stood up from my last post, until I sat down to write this one.
If you want a reason… basically, I succumbed to my rather chronic depression. The combination of the stress from the move, the daily battle of living with an autistic child (which I will talk about at length, on another occasion) and… various other moments, which I don’t feel like explicating, had left me in a very dark place.
Fortunately, my wife is wonderful, and once she realized how bad I had gotten, she forced me to start go see a doctor. You might ask me, “Hey, if you knew you were having problems, why didn’t you go see someone yourself? Why did your long-suffering wife have to force you to?”
Well, that’s the thing. When your depressed, you don’t want to get better. You don’t want to improve, or feel healthy again — you just want everything to go away and leave you alone. Possibly permanently. At least, that is my experience, and I’ve read accounts from others who have had the same experience with depression. So there you go.
So I went in to the doctor, and after consulting with him, we decided that I would go on medication for a while. I’m… not a big fan of medication, but he assured me that we could see if it was effective for a month, and that I wouldn’t need to be on it for longer than a year.
Plus, I was in counselling before, and I couldn’t say whether or not it was helping me. So there’s that.
So yeah, I’m on some anti-depressant for a while. (Don’t ask me the name, I don’t remember, and I don’t feel like checking the bottle. 😛 ) It’s fairly mild, as I understand it, and I haven’t seen any of the described possible side effects, so that’s good. Mind you, I haven’t noticed my mood particularly improving either, so meh.
So yeah. I’ve just been trying to recover my motivation for all things, not just writing. Frankly, I dropped a large number of web novels I had been reading, just because I wasn’t interested in reading them anymore. And that’s too bad, because some of them were actually pretty good. Like “The Death Mage Who Doesn’t Want a Fourth Time.” Wonder how that one’s been getting on. Oh well.
So yeah. No new chapters until I get my head on straight. We’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, I’ll try to post something every once in a while, about what I have been doing. Hopefully, they’ll be less of a downer than this particular post. Sorry ’bout that.
I’ve been playing the remastered version of Darksiders on my PS4 the past week or so. Maybe I’ll do a quick review of that.
Thanks for listening, and take care, everyone. 🙂